have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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