is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
