how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
