I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
