38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
