Pappa wants mamma naked
operation harelip BJ is a go
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
