You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
