Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
