C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
