Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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