i don't like sucking hair
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
