somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
