I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
