My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
