Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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