Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
