So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
