don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
