Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
