There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
