Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
