Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize