It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
