I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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