a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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