worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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