Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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