I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
