sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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