I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
