About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
