How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
