Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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