i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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