So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
