My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
