Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wish my penis had a tongue
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
