I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
