She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
