whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
