this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
