i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
