sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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