I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
