I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My breasts were aching with rage.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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