she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
