Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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