I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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