You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
