Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
