I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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