I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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