So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
