i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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