just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Couch. On fire.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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