I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
